I Did It My Way
I've had a lot of opportunities in my lifetime that arose that just didn't feel right in my gut at the time, even if they sounded amazing. When I was 19 I was in a talent contest in Sacramento California and I won. One of the judges was a local news anchor and she approached me privately after the contest. She thought I'd be a good potential candidate for Miss America. She wanted me to attend a specific college with their assistance and to basically spend a year grooming me to enter the contest. At the time I was a burgeoning punk rocker who was feeling a deep seated need to rebel against anything that felt like the establishment and I surely couldn't see myself in a beauty pageant. I didn't want to be what other people wanted me to be, I wanted to become myself. I graciously declined her offer.

Several years later I was fronting alternative country and rockabilly bands in the Cow Punk scene in the Bay Area of California in the 80s. A fan of my band and good friend of mine was friends with Big Brother and the Holding Company (Janice Joplin's band) and they were looking for a new lead vocalist. They had an audition pending and she'd recommended me. I belabored this opportunity for the better part of a week, and then I decided that it would be impossible for me to build a career being compared to or attempting to emulate one of the greatest rock and roll singers...ever. So I again graciously declined the opportunity.

I left graduate school after one semester. I had spent seven years working to support myself while I attended undergrad and managed to graduate Magna **** Laude with a BA as the Outstanding Theatre Major. It turned out the head of the grad program I was attending lied to me to get me to attend their school. I had declined another prestigious school based on her lie. On top of that I was being used as a scapegoat in a multitude of weird ways to divert attention away from a faltering theatre department. I knew if I left, that my dream of an MFA would be crushed, but I simply couldn't stay in a toxic environment. So I mustered up my intestinal fortitude and I left.

Then I took a sharp right turn and chose to get married to my husband and to build a family. I loved him, he loved me; we had a shared vision of life and a common hope for making a difference in the world. We opened a retail business and for five years we tried to sell fair trade products to the wrong audience, in retrospect we realize we should have been on the internet. Finally we had to close our shop and as some of you know at the same time I decided not to sign a contract that cost me 50 grand in lost income that year. I think a lot of people thought me pretty foolish for making that choice, but I can tell you that it felt damn good. It also resulted in the discovery of my current career.

In every lifetime we have a multitude of choices. Some of them are big, some small. Every one of them impacts us in ways we'll never be able to quantify. I actually do believe in regrets, I think a life without them is a life not lived deeply. That being said, I don't regret these decisions I've made. I trust my intuition. Anytime I've not trusted it, I've been terribly disappointed. I can't do things just because they're what I'm ‘supposed' to do, I have to do what I feel in my soul is right for me. Sometimes that means saying no to the obvious choice and instead picking what's behind door number three. Often it leaves those around me scratching their heads. So be it.

I believe that these 'roads less traveled' I have explored in my lifetime have been more difficult, but most definitely more rewarding. I've discovered things about myself and the world around me I'd never have known had I skated across the surface or taken the safe route.

At the end of the day, each and every day, I can honestly say to myself and my daughter that I did, indeed, do it my way. I can encourage her wholeheartedly to do the same. I have a vision and I think it good. I trust that it will lead me toward the success I've earned by not taking the obvious pathway. I trust that it is leading me to amazing new adventures I'd never explore if I made the safe choices. Every moment of every day we are making choices and every choice impacts our journey. The only person who can decide what choice is the right choice...is us.